Diabetic Recipes
vancity197 @stock.xchng
I feel like such a mean dad.
I am the father of two very awesome kids. My son is 14 and my daughter is 10. They are both very smart and well mannered kids. My wife and I are extremely blessed in that they are both good kids. We thank God all the time for them.
I am usually considered the "cool dad" with my kid and their friends and as much as I am "cool" I am also pretty strict. I have definite rules with my kids and as long as they do not break them then they have lots of freedoms. Break a rule and freedoms are gone.
We have definitely taught them the whole "consequences" thing. We stick to our guns on punishments and such so they know we do not mess around.
All that is fine but the problem I am having is different. It is about my daughter.
She, like me, loves to eat. She has noticed recently that clothes are not fitting her and she has major difficulties shopping for stuff her size.
I see her frustration and I cannot help but remember back to what I used to go through when I was her age. I was always overweight and much much more overweight then she is which is why I want to help her before she gets to the point I was.
She tries things on and ends up throwing it aside. Grabs something else and cannot button it or zip it. She starts crying. I hear her and my wife talking about trying something else. My wife tries to calm her down. She cries harder. I remember crying those tears as a kid. I feel them coming on again for her. I can't stand it.
We do not buy junk food but if we get any sort of snack like item it gets eaten. If we are at a birthday party or an event like a wedding, she will eat everything she can get her hands on.
I talked to her about her weight and how I had my own issues when I was a kid so I know that sometimes we act like it doesn't bother us but it does. She agreed that she felt bad and wanted to make a change.
"What can I do to help you sweetheart? Mom and I are not buying junk food so we will continue to keep good things like veggies and fruit to snack on but what can I do to help?"
She says, "Maybe you can tell me when you think I have had too much or if I am serving myself seconds or something."
"I can do that but I need you to be willing to stop if I mention it to you. I don't want you to get mad at me but if you want me to say something then I will. Are you sure?"
She nodded and hugged me.
Fast forward to the wedding we attended this last weekend. Every time the appetiser tray came by she grabbed anything she could get her hands on.
"Honey, food is coming. I think you have had enough for now."
She looked at me. I could see it. I remember feeling like she did. Knowing you were eating just because it was there and it tasted good. Remembering back to promising yourself you would be good and trying frantically to find out a way to justify this. Feeling like a failure. Feeling like your will never be able to change.
Feeling fat.
Before she started crying I told her, "honey, I do not want to be the mean dad but I have to be because I love you."
She nodded as she hugged me.
I still feel horrible.
That's hard... and you even got a hug! What if, when you know she's going to be facing tempting treats, you (or she) bring along a cooler w/ her favorite veggie/fruit snacks to have as an alternative?
She sounds like she is trying to do the right things and isn't it nice that you and her mom are facing it (weight) with her. She's lucky.
I wouldn't have it any other way. We are both supportive and have our own weight to lose. I like the idea of keeping good stuff with us.
Thanks for the idea!
Man, that is tough. A tough position for the both of you to be in.
It's true man. I want her to know I care but not end up hating me.
Sometimes food tastes too good to make health a priority!!
Is it possible to go on nightly family walks after dinner? Or do something as a family on a weekly basis?
Maybe exercise will help offset the weight gain if she decides to eat more than her fair share.
We should exercise as a family. That is something we have not tried.
Gosh this is so hard, I am glad you are addressing it now. Teaching portion sizes? Adjusting the whole family to only eating at meals and maybe 1 snack? Being overweight as a teenaged girl is even harder than it is for boys, so please keep trying.
That is so true. She already has some girls who say things to her about it. I feel horrible.
George, there's a couple of things that have been bugging me about this, and I've finally put my finger on them...
First, a lot of girls' figures change *dramatically* once they hit menarche. I'm not just talking about breasts and body hair -- I'm talking about overweight (but not obese) girls slimming down, and skinny girls suddenly putting on large amounts of weight. If your daughter has just hit menarche and is gaining weight out of proportion, you may want to talk to her pediatrician to make sure her hormones are in correct balance.
The other thing to keep an eye on: when teenagers decide to "diet", they tend to *restrict* (we're talking anorexia-nervosa-level restriction here). I know I did it, I know other girls who did it... I don't know if you did it or not... but I have a suspicion that even a month or two of restriction in one's teenaged years can have profound effects on one's metabolism as an adult (yes, I'm talking D here -- both T1 and T2, though I think T2 is more the issue in this case). Healthy eating, appropriate portion size, and lots of exercise are important -- which is what you are teaching her -- but do keep an eye out to make sure she doesn't start restricting as soon as she starts losing a pound or two.
The other thing you may want to do is, if your daughter is having problems with "girls" or "juniors" sizes... check out stores like Torrid, which advertise teenage-appropriate styles for the plus-sized consumer. (I'm pretty sure there are a couple of other stores of this type on the Internet. I've seen brick-and-mortar Torrids.) And if anyone in your family can wield a sewing machine, teach her to sew and teach her basic tailoring. Having clothes that look and fit the way she wants them to look and fit will do wonders for her self-esteem, as will the ability to say, "I made it myself".
I really like that clothing idea. I am familiar with Torrid so that may be a good idea. She hates to shop which should be a girls favorite thing! I feel so bad but I do believe the root of the problem is the amount of food as compared to the amount of exercise.
It feels like the pattern I was on when I was her age.
Thank you so much for all your insight. I will keep all of it in consideration.
George, I commend you and your wife for wanting to help your daughter. I agee with the person who said maybe you should talk to her doctor. Also, I tell my daughters to ask me to take a walk after dinner. They love to go with me and it is a good way to spend time together and talk. Kids are cruel! I know, I was a victim of childhood teasing from 7th - 8th grade. I was not overweight, but it still affects me as an adult. I'm not saying that your daughter should lose weight just to stop the teasing. Is she impulsive with other things? Impulsivity can be a symptom of ADHD; there are a few different types of it. I did not know this until I was filling out paperwork for my 11 year old daughter. She has been diagnosed with the Inattentive type. She is not hyper or impulsive, but there are a myriad of symptoms that I did not realize were part of this disorder. Look at her behavior overall. She also must be told DAILY that she is beautiful by you! Fathers give their daughters their first look at themselves from a male perpective. If you constantly tell her she is pretty, then her self esteem will have no where to go but up. This is the age when girls are starting to compare themselves to other girls and this time is very tough. Good luck and if you walk, I will too!
I had the Gastric Bypass 2 years ago and I am still on Diabetic Meds. I went off them after the surgery and as soon as I started taking them mu weight loss slowed down! I am so depressed with this,it upsets me to no end... I am a 45 year old male and I feel 85:-(
The one piece of advice I can offer (having been in her shoes) is to keep up what you are doing and be positive, supportive, yet firm. I can't imagine how hard it is to say something to her, but that's a must. Just make sure to stay positive and not accusatory (what my dad did). You're doing a wonderful thing and she'll thank you for it.