Our summer classic film series continues with a scene from the movie Jaws. That is, if the shark had diabetes.
 

(The Beach)

Alex Kintner: Mom, can I get my raft and go back out in the water?
 

Mrs. Kintner: Lemme see your fingers. Alex Kintner! They are beginning to prune.
 

Alex: Just lemme go out a little longer?
 

Mrs. Kintner: Just ten more minutes.
 

Sean Brody: (singing) Oh do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man …
 

Witness: Holy shit! Did you see that?
 

Chief Brody: Get everybody out of the water! Get out! Get out!
 

Mrs. Kintner: (screaming) Alex! Alex! It's headed straight for my baby!!! Oh my god!!!! Oh my god!!!!! Alex!!!!
 

Mrs. Kintner: Wait! Wait! It's turning. It's turning! (Astonished) It's ... it's headed straight for the snack bar?!
 

The massive great white crawls out of the water and onto the surf toward the snack bar. With sweaty pectoral fins, it swats away a basket of peanuts, slaps to the ground a cheeseburger with a side salad and spits out the head of a bearded fisherman. The shark rummages through the kitchen and finds five 1-gallon containers of grape juice that he swallows whole after several failed attempts to unscrew the caps. He then devours a shelf filled with tropical-flavored Skittles. He slouches in a nearby hammock, slowly rocking and waiting for his tail to stop shaking.
 

 Fisherman: (dressing up the listless shark in a fedora and woman's bikini and posing for a picture with his buddies) Pfff! Man-eating shark! Maybe if you weren't so fat and lazy, you wouldn't have diabetes in the first place. It's a totally preventable disease. Can I get you a Mai Tai sweetheart? Blah, hah, hah ...

Chomp!

Shark: Pardon me, folks. Does anyone know how many carbs that guy was?